ALOVETOKEN

ALT
Originally uploaded by another year ∞

also posted on We Dont Do Books ,
but basically this is something to keep myself busy and get some shit off my chest. When I'm happy with myself I don't seem to get much done. With the contributions of some friends who draw/write/photograph like monsters, I will (hopefully) be releasing issues of these monthly.

email me if your interested in a copy.

"please, we cant go back. I believe in you."

this morning i walked past an old abandoned church that reflects off anything in its wake on this part of town. it sits in stoic silence, unaffected by its ruined walls and windows, utter lonliness.
it sits awaiting its inevitable fate, dressed in a funeral suit of new graffiti. If i could, i would tell it that i am sorry, and that we all never end up the way planned to--that we all crumble a little more everyday. that it isnt just him.

I've been searching for a quieter place to sit, but at this time of day, everyone is either asleep or awake with some sort of seeming purpose. A girl i spent years in love with is sleeping through my frantic phone calls, a friend i haven't seen in months is probably on his way to class. No one should wait to console me, no one is directionless but me here. everyone is somewhere. no one is pointless, but me. All that i've wanted to do all morning was go home and let my bones collapse or sit in the shower until the water runs cold or shake in the shower until somebody finds me.

"i'll be fine, thanks."

an old/ damaged polaroid i took of said church last year

back from the binge

"Tell the wind to bring us back to before this storm. "

Nothing.

"She is mine" he thinks.

A king and queen above them standing statues through this storm. His clothes were heavy now, she spoke of promises but he knows her fear clings to her words like his eyes to the ground. A set of eyes so used to the sky simply can't handle stories of inadequacy.

"We can change the tides and cast our lives in stone."

He seems to be wrong time and time again. The king and queen hold their strings close as the water rises. 

"There are fires in all of us, we're all tired..."

She turned to go inside as he stood. Minutes had gone by before he let out a breath, but before turning to an unsure hand he said,

"It can't be true what people say, time can't be the only remedy. Don't worry about me dear, my name hasn't met the air on too many occasions this year. I told you I could keep you safe, but I spoke too soon it seems, I've spent too many suns convincing myself this is was how it always happened. I replaced feelings for scenes and wasted my life waiting for the tides to change, at the very least lie to me."

She hadn't heard a thing. He knew nothing of life outside this. 

"You can have her." he repeated to the wind. But only the waves could hear him.

I'm so fucking self absorbed, but you're morbid to the core. 

You're more then a demon, you're worse then before

things were never about you and me

it was always you and him, and childish jealousy

you can have her.