"please, we cant go back. I believe in you."

this morning i walked past an old abandoned church that reflects off anything in its wake on this part of town. it sits in stoic silence, unaffected by its ruined walls and windows, utter lonliness.
it sits awaiting its inevitable fate, dressed in a funeral suit of new graffiti. If i could, i would tell it that i am sorry, and that we all never end up the way planned to--that we all crumble a little more everyday. that it isnt just him.

I've been searching for a quieter place to sit, but at this time of day, everyone is either asleep or awake with some sort of seeming purpose. A girl i spent years in love with is sleeping through my frantic phone calls, a friend i haven't seen in months is probably on his way to class. No one should wait to console me, no one is directionless but me here. everyone is somewhere. no one is pointless, but me. All that i've wanted to do all morning was go home and let my bones collapse or sit in the shower until the water runs cold or shake in the shower until somebody finds me.

"i'll be fine, thanks."

an old/ damaged polaroid i took of said church last year